Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
