I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
