walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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