new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
