ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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