i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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