did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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