worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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