OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
