Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?

(1-810): View more from Michigan

creepy.

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(810): My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago? (1-810): creepy. http://tfl.nu/125x

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(618): View more from Illinois

how was the sex?

(1-618): View more from Illinois

he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.

(618): View more from Illinois

well, there's that.

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(618): how was the sex? (1-618): he smelled like pickles and burnt hair. (618): well, there's that. http://tfl.nu/wrio

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(734): View more from Michigan

I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.

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(734): I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians. http://tfl.nu/rppl

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.

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(908): i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone. http://tfl.nu/i40f

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono

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(732): i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono http://tfl.nu/0ij8

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(865): View more from Tennessee

His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...

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(865): His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation... http://tfl.nu/uas5

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(917): View more from New York City

I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.

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(917): I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home. http://tfl.nu/9xms

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(207): View more from Maine

Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.

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(207): Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen. http://tfl.nu/y9fq

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(805): View more from California

I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.

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(805): I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax. http://tfl.nu/bw4v

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(203): View more from Connecticut

We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese

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(203): We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese http://tfl.nu/oc3v

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.

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(605): Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min. http://tfl.nu/hu1g

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(313): View more from Michigan

My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real

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(313): My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real http://tfl.nu/i6cc

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(503): View more from Oregon

Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?

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(503): Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them? http://tfl.nu/lznr

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(312): View more from Illinois

You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.

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(312): You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on. http://tfl.nu/wd3p

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."

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(304): Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me." http://tfl.nu/56ma

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