Goodnight sugar queer
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf