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My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
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