Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
