i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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