we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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