yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
