Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
