I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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