here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
