Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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