can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
