I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize