He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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