Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
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There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
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I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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