I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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