I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Sext me about skeletons
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
