Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
