moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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