mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
