I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
the day after is always just damage control
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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