I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
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