New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
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I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
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I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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