he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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