you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
