I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
