She is in my trunk
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize