you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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