she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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