I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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