I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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