Little spoons don't ask big questions
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
