I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
