Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
