I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
