Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
