U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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