Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize