He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
