hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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