There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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