I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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