Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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