Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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