looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Watching her eat just hurts me
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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