the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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