today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize