honey bunches of taint.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
