i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
