this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
