I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You need Xanax blowdarts
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
All the doctor said was why
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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